Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I just cannot wake up early, even if I sleep on time. What should I do?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why is (n-1)(n+1)=n^2-1?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Which race of women are the hottest?

I can count

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

Am I the unique Gen Z if I dislike TikTok and prefer the 2000s technology trends like retro consoles, CRTs, and CD/DVDs?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why did my ex move on so fast, we have only been broken up for 2 weeks?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes